"State of Fear" and Unsuckable
So, I just finished reading Michael Crichton's book, State of Fear. I bought it at LAX so that I would have something to read on the flight home from visiting the family for Christmas. I bought State of Fear even though I had just started Al Franken's new book, The Truth (With Jokes) because I was in the mood for a light-hearted romp of a book. Having read all of Dan Brown's books on my last two trips home (by the way, he's basically been writing the same book over and over again) I felt it was time to return to Mr. Crichton.
Having been in basically a media bubble for the past year and a half (oh, the joys of law school . . .) I hadn't heard anything about the book. Therefore, I picked it up based on the reviews calling it something like an edge of your seat thriller. Boy, was that a joke.
It turns out that the book sucks. Hard. Really hard. Here's Andy's synopsis:
Here's a pathetic, wussy main character. He's surrounded by hot bitches. He believes in global warming. Here's Kenner, some know-it-all. (When you imagine Kenner's voice in your head (I do this with all book characters) imagine a voice you really like, because you'll be hearing it a lot.) Cool, now Kenner's gonna talk about how global warming is a myth. And he's gonna offer citations (you will be provided with the citations as footnotes). Here's some plot. Don't worry about it, though, it's not important and it doesn't make much sense. Here's a character that's a stereotypical Hollywood actor. He, too, believes in global warming. Unfortunately, he, like everyone else in the book who believes in global warming, is a complete idiot. It's ok, though, because he gets eaten by cannibals. No, seriously. I kept expecting a plot twist. The plot begged for one. But the rich guy clearly faked his death. I mean, there wasn't a body! It was a foregone conclusion. Oh well, I guess the wussy guy saved the world . . . somehow. And got the bitch (the hot one). And global warming doesn't exist. And Michael Crichton is a racist.
Here's a webpage dealing with the factual errors in the book:
http://www.nrdc.org/globalWarming/fcrichton.asp
And here's a review from Grist magazine:
http://www.grist.org/advice/books/2005/02/01/roberts-fear/index.html
Point is, stay the fuck away.
On another note . . .
I've discovered that Kevin Federline released his first single. The single is called "PopoZao," which, according to this Wikipedia article is "Portuguese slang for a large butt." I tried to find the full lyrics to the song, but they seem to be unavailable. Here's the closest I could get:
I've listened to the song several times, and I'm sad to report that it sucks even worse than State of Fear. We're talking electronic dying whale sounds bad. This is greatly disappointing to me because, as i explained to friends earlier today, I've always seen my role in life as similar to that of Elijah Price in Unbreakable, although without the part where i kill thousands of innocent people. The point is, i want to go out into the world and discover something that no one expected. It's no fun for Kev-Fed's song to suck - we all expected it to suck, just like we all expected Doom, starring the Rock, to suck. But what if K-Fed's song had been magnificent? What if it elevated hip hop to the level of true art form? What if, 20 years from now, people thought of Brittany Spears as the June Carter Cash to Kevin's Johnny Cash? Or, better yet, what if they mentioned his name in the same breath as the Beatles, Nirvana, or The Smashing Pumpkins (my personal favorite)? That would be newsworthy! It would be the equivalent of man bites dog. But, no, instead we get a truly shitty song.
Oh well, the search for something that exceeds expectationsons continues . . . .
Having been in basically a media bubble for the past year and a half (oh, the joys of law school . . .) I hadn't heard anything about the book. Therefore, I picked it up based on the reviews calling it something like an edge of your seat thriller. Boy, was that a joke.
It turns out that the book sucks. Hard. Really hard. Here's Andy's synopsis:
Here's a pathetic, wussy main character. He's surrounded by hot bitches. He believes in global warming. Here's Kenner, some know-it-all. (When you imagine Kenner's voice in your head (I do this with all book characters) imagine a voice you really like, because you'll be hearing it a lot.) Cool, now Kenner's gonna talk about how global warming is a myth. And he's gonna offer citations (you will be provided with the citations as footnotes). Here's some plot. Don't worry about it, though, it's not important and it doesn't make much sense. Here's a character that's a stereotypical Hollywood actor. He, too, believes in global warming. Unfortunately, he, like everyone else in the book who believes in global warming, is a complete idiot. It's ok, though, because he gets eaten by cannibals. No, seriously. I kept expecting a plot twist. The plot begged for one. But the rich guy clearly faked his death. I mean, there wasn't a body! It was a foregone conclusion. Oh well, I guess the wussy guy saved the world . . . somehow. And got the bitch (the hot one). And global warming doesn't exist. And Michael Crichton is a racist.
Here's a webpage dealing with the factual errors in the book:
http://www.nrdc.org/globalWarming/fcrichton.asp
And here's a review from Grist magazine:
http://www.grist.org/advice/books/2005/02/01/roberts-fear/index.html
Point is, stay the fuck away.
On another note . . .
I've discovered that Kevin Federline released his first single. The single is called "PopoZao," which, according to this Wikipedia article is "Portuguese slang for a large butt." I tried to find the full lyrics to the song, but they seem to be unavailable. Here's the closest I could get:
in Portuguese it means bring your ass
on the floor and move it real fast
I wanna see your kitty and a little bit of titty
wanna know where I go when I'm in your city
girl don't you worry about all the dough
coz a cat is coming straight out of the know (?)
ready rock them shows all the way to Rio (?)
bring that brazil booty on the floor
up, down, all around
work that shit to this funky sound
wanna see what I'm gonna owe
vai descendo o popozão
ass on me, baby ass on me
po po po po popozão popozão
I've listened to the song several times, and I'm sad to report that it sucks even worse than State of Fear. We're talking electronic dying whale sounds bad. This is greatly disappointing to me because, as i explained to friends earlier today, I've always seen my role in life as similar to that of Elijah Price in Unbreakable, although without the part where i kill thousands of innocent people. The point is, i want to go out into the world and discover something that no one expected. It's no fun for Kev-Fed's song to suck - we all expected it to suck, just like we all expected Doom, starring the Rock, to suck. But what if K-Fed's song had been magnificent? What if it elevated hip hop to the level of true art form? What if, 20 years from now, people thought of Brittany Spears as the June Carter Cash to Kevin's Johnny Cash? Or, better yet, what if they mentioned his name in the same breath as the Beatles, Nirvana, or The Smashing Pumpkins (my personal favorite)? That would be newsworthy! It would be the equivalent of man bites dog. But, no, instead we get a truly shitty song.
Oh well, the search for something that exceeds expectationsons continues . . . .
you mean man bites dog, the movie? i'm french, and it's the first time a person who is not french or belgian refers to this movie i absolutely love. if you meant something else, then go rent the movie !
this is just a test.