"We Play Everything"?
Ok. We all like Nirvana, the band. That was a good band. Once, i was watching Saturday Night Live, it was an episode from the early 90's. The musical guest was some band called Dee-Light or some such shit. Point is, they sucked - hard. And i thought to myself: is this what music was like before Nirvana?
Anyway, Nirvana kicks ass. So, generally, if a radio station plays Nirvana, they're going to get the nod from me. But, ok, what if i told you that, in addition to playing Nirvana, this radio station also played Foo Fighters. Well, fuck, that's starting to sound like a pretty average alt. rock station. I'll listen to that! Fuck yeah.
Hold on, though. What if they also played Wham! Hmmm... wait a minute, you're thinking. Do you mean Wham! as in George Michael's boyband? Yes, i tell you, i mean that Wham! Kinda strange, huh?
So, now, this radio station's sucked you in with some Heart-Shaped Box, which it followed up with Everlong. Then it sorta confused you with Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. But, that's ok, maybe it's just this DJ has strange tastes. Let's see what's next.
Mrs. Robinson? Simon and Garfunkel? Ok, next?
Nickelback, Boy George, Fleetwood Mack, Heuy Lewis and the News, Stone Temple Pilots, Zeppelin, Progressive Jazz Fusion shit, Blue Oyster Cult, Creed, Mommas and the Poppas, Michael Jackson, Elvis, Bowie, Linda Ronstadt . . .
And then you understand. The station's slogan is "We play everything!"
Oh, i see. Instead of filtering out the crap, you're just going to play it all. Like some guy's iPod on shuffle. The problem is that i never listen to my iPod on shuffle. Why? well, because while i've got great songs like "Rebellion (Lies)" by the Arcade Fire on there, i also have shitty songs like "Bugs" by Pearl Jam because i have the entire Vitalogy album. Not to mention all those god-awful skits on the Outkast cds. The point is, an iPod on shuffle sucks. And, therefore, so does a radio station designed to emulate an iPod on shuffle.
Fucking a.
Anyway, Nirvana kicks ass. So, generally, if a radio station plays Nirvana, they're going to get the nod from me. But, ok, what if i told you that, in addition to playing Nirvana, this radio station also played Foo Fighters. Well, fuck, that's starting to sound like a pretty average alt. rock station. I'll listen to that! Fuck yeah.
Hold on, though. What if they also played Wham! Hmmm... wait a minute, you're thinking. Do you mean Wham! as in George Michael's boyband? Yes, i tell you, i mean that Wham! Kinda strange, huh?
So, now, this radio station's sucked you in with some Heart-Shaped Box, which it followed up with Everlong. Then it sorta confused you with Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. But, that's ok, maybe it's just this DJ has strange tastes. Let's see what's next.
Mrs. Robinson? Simon and Garfunkel? Ok, next?
Nickelback, Boy George, Fleetwood Mack, Heuy Lewis and the News, Stone Temple Pilots, Zeppelin, Progressive Jazz Fusion shit, Blue Oyster Cult, Creed, Mommas and the Poppas, Michael Jackson, Elvis, Bowie, Linda Ronstadt . . .
And then you understand. The station's slogan is "We play everything!"
Oh, i see. Instead of filtering out the crap, you're just going to play it all. Like some guy's iPod on shuffle. The problem is that i never listen to my iPod on shuffle. Why? well, because while i've got great songs like "Rebellion (Lies)" by the Arcade Fire on there, i also have shitty songs like "Bugs" by Pearl Jam because i have the entire Vitalogy album. Not to mention all those god-awful skits on the Outkast cds. The point is, an iPod on shuffle sucks. And, therefore, so does a radio station designed to emulate an iPod on shuffle.
Fucking a.
