Dorks
Alright. The time has come for me to fucking comment on something.
I absolutely hate it when people who are absolutely not dorks claim to be dorks in an attempt to be cool.
Listen to me: if you're super-popular and very socially adept, great. But don't fucking tell me that you're a dork because you read Harry Potter.
Look, unless you can do the following things from memory, you are not a dork. Just so you guys know, i didn't look any of this shit up:
Lord of the Rings
I absolutely hate it when people who are absolutely not dorks claim to be dorks in an attempt to be cool.
Listen to me: if you're super-popular and very socially adept, great. But don't fucking tell me that you're a dork because you read Harry Potter.
Look, unless you can do the following things from memory, you are not a dork. Just so you guys know, i didn't look any of this shit up:
Lord of the Rings
- Give at least one additional name for Gandalf.
- Name both of the villains in the Lord of the Rings universe known as "The Dark Lord"
- How many Rings of Power were there, and how many did each race receive?
Star Wars
- What color was Luke's lightsaber in each of the original movies (I'm not talking about the DVD editions, here)?
- Who was the one non-major character to appear in each of the original movies and not die?
- Name the leader of the rebel alliance.
UPDATE: As was pointed out in the comments, this quiz is seriously flawed because i somehow omitted Star Trek but included Harry Potter. To rectify the situation, i've added three Star Treck questions. The test still consists of fifteen questions, however: just count whichever category (Harry Potter or Star Trek) that you were able to answer the most from.
Star Trek
- What is the registry number of the starship Enterprise?
- Who was the voice of the computer on Star Trek: The Next Generation?
- Who was the first human to discover the warp engine?
Harry Potter
- How many horcruxes are there?
- Name all three unforgivable curses.
- Why didn't the Basilisk kill Colin Creevey?
DOS
- What does "CD" stand for?
- What does "DOS" stand for?
- What are the two ways to display a directory, and what's the command for each?
Dork Activities
- What does "THAC0" stand for?
- What are the five different colors of Magic: The Gathering?
- Describe a 4-sided die.
Alright. There's 15 questions. Unless you can answer atleast 10, you have no right to call yourself a dork.
I'm not saying being a dork is a good thing, i'm saying fuck you for usurping my dorkhood.
The answers are in the comments.
According to that list, I need to throw away all of my clothes that aren't black immediately and move back into my parents' basement so I can start playing World of Warcraft as a full-time job. You can take the girl away from the nerds, but you can't take the nerd out of the girl.
Wait, that sounded dirty. Maybe it's you can lead a dork to coolness, but you can't make her drink? Either way, I'm hopeless.
Yes, that did sound exceptionally dirty. It's a good thing you pointed that out, because I raced right past it. Nicely done.
Incidentally, I don't qualify. For as much science fiction as I watch and rewatch, I couldn't quite answer the Q's. I think my downfall is not reading the books as well.
And bravo to Andy for laying down the gauntlet. The standard has been set, and lesser dorks shall fall before you.
Come on Andy, just because you know all those answers doesn't make you a whales dick. which is what a dork is. Maybe a geek but not a dork!
Anyway, I got like two of those so I am the furthest from a being a "dork" you can get.
Holy shit! How the hell could i have completely forgotten about Star Trek? Ok, here's what i'm going to do. I'm going to now reveal the answers to the previous questions, and then give a BONUS three Star Trek questions. Those questions will take the place of the Harry Potter questions. So, trj, if you couldn't answer the Harry Potter ones, you should take another look.
Ok, now, the answers:
LotR
1. Any of the following are correct: Olorin, Mithrandir, The Grey Pilgrim.
2. The first Dark Lord was Melkor, better known as Morgoth. The second was Morgoth's most powerful subordinate, the Lord of the Rings himself, Sauron.
3. There were 20 rings of power total: 9 were given to men (these men became the Nazgul), 7 were given to dwarves (those 7 were lost forever), 3 were made by the Elves using the knowledge Sauron gave them, and, of course, Sauron kept the One Ring for himself.
Star Wars
1. Luke's original lightsaber was, of course, the one that used to belong to Anakin Skywalker. It was blue, and this is what he used in the first movie. It's also what he used in Empire Strikes Back in his battle against Darth Vader. Finally, by Return of the Jedi, Luke had constructed a new lightsaber, which was green. The parenthetical about the DVD releases is because the color correction used for that release resulted in Luke having a green lightsaber aboard the millenium falcon, which was erroneous.
2. Wedge Antilles.
3. Mon Mothma.
Harry Potter
1. Dumbledore believes that there are seven horcruxes, given Voldemorte's respect for that number.
2. Avada kedavra (the killing curse), Crucio (the torture curse), and Imperio (the control people curse).
3. The basilisk didn't kill Colin because he saw it through the lense of his camera.
DOS
1. "Change directory"
2. "Disk operating system"
3. You can either make it display the directory in increments or in a wider format. The commands are "dir/p" and "dir/w" respectively.
Dork Activities
1. "To hit armor class zero." Tricky because the "0" at the end is actually the number, not the letter.
2. Red, black, blue, white, and green.
3. A four-sided die basically looks like a three-sided pyramid. When you roll it, one side lays flat against the floor and the point faces up. Each face is designated one number value.
Alas, I am NOT a dork. I guess i will have to be content being a "geek". Such is my fate!
And the answers to the Star Trek questions:
1. NCC-1701. This is for the original Enterprise. Subsequent Enterprises have had letters. So, for example, the second Enterprise, featured in subsequent movies, was NCC-1701A. The Enterprise featured on TNG was NCC-1701D, the fifth ship named Enterprise. Finally, the Enterprise featured in the latest Star Trek films is the NCC-1701E.
2. Majel Barrett-Rodenberry, Gene Rodenberry's widow.
3. Zephram Cochran.
Like I told you yesterday, I am a SERIOUS sci-fi dork [i believe is the correct term pursuant to these discussions]. i got all the questions for LOTR, Star Wars, and Harry Potter correct. But, dork or not, I thought everyone loved these movies/books. I, however, have never been much of a star trek fan, so does that make me less of a dork? Especially since the shows on tv I watch instead are the Real World and 8th and Ocean? Those guys are HOT! My cousin used to play dungeons and dragons, does that make me more of a dork? I sure hope not. Also, i didn't get ANY of those CD, DOS questions right. wtf? I thought a CD was a compact disc...
hehehe
CD is a compact disk. But in the good old days of DOS, Compact Disks weren't available :D
How about speaking not one but multiple dead languages (and by multiple I mean two)? Surely that makes up for not knowing any DOS or Star Trek trivia (?)
There are some minor mistakes and ommisions to your answers Andy.
In the LOTR section, Gandalf is also know as Storm Crow. Although this is derrogatory, it is still a vaid answer.
In the original SW: ANH, Lukes lightsaber looks bluish at first, but on the MF it actually becomes white, and for a second is green.
In HP you have a serious error. Dumbledore believes there are 6 horocruxes (or horocri if you listen to pottercast on TLC website). Voldemort splits his soul into seven fragments, of which one must remain in him, the other six being placed in horocri.
In the DOS section, just typing "dir" will display the dircetory also, and there are other options associated with the command. More importantly, knowing DOS is not dorky anymore, it is just lame. Knowledge of DOS as a badge of dorkdom has been replaced with knowledge of Linux.
And by the way, THACO has been removed from the newest AD&D rules and armor class 0 is no longer the strongest, but the weakest. I just thought you might find this interesting.
And lastly, What your quiz is greatly missing are questions about the old nintendo. I'll give you some.
1. What is the name of the game that became Super Mario Bros. 2 in the U.S.?
2. What happens if you type "zelda" as your name in The Legend of Zelda?
3. What do you find out if you beat Metroid with a fast enough time?
4. Who is the last boss in Kid Icarus?
5. What is the name of the following code: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start.
6. What movie showed how to get the flute in Super Mario Bros. 3?
Toodles.
Frank brings up some good points, so i'll address them here:
You're correct that "Storm Crow" is another name that Gandalf is known as. However, as Elise and i already discussed, "Storm Crow" is more a title than a name. The same is true of "Grey Wizard" or "White Wizard" and, unfortunately for me, "Grey Pilgrim." Therefore, i did make a mistake, but it was to OVER include rather than under include: i shouldn't have included "Grey Pilgrim."
Your point about Luke's lightsaber is true. However, the fact that the lightsaber turns white is a result of the way that the lightsaber effect was created in camera, and not a reflection of George Lucas' intent. Canonically, i believe the lightsaber was blue.
You're absolutely correct about the horcuxes. What's with your recent obsession with Harry Potter?
Frank, you're also correct, of course, about DOS, you being one of the people i learned things in DOS from.
I wouldn't know about the new AD&D rules, not having played the game for more than 7 years.
And, frankly, i think you're going to kick my ass on NES stuff, but here goes:
1. Dokkie Dokkie Panic
2. Something special, but i forget what
3. Is it that it's a hot girl? There's something where you get a picture of a girl.
4. Who's ever gotten past the FIRST level of Kid Icarus?
5. I don't know the name, but it works for all the works for all the Konami games, no?
6. The Wizard, i believe.
Finally, while your point about Linux being the new DOS is well-taken, what does that say about the fact that you proposed NES trivia rather than, say, XBOX 360 trivia?
If you type Zelda you get to play the Master Quest. If you beat Metroid fast enough, Samus is in a bikini. Medusa is the last boss in Kid Icarus (I have never seen this because it is the hardest game ever). And the code is the Konami code.
All other answers are correct.
Also, Linux is cool not because it is a new generation of computing (such as NES vs. xbox) but because of the open source idea, thus giving all dorks the chance to become part of the design process.
The choice of NES vs. xbox360 is because the NES, like the above categories, is good dork tester. Many have played an NES, but to know it in-depth is to become the dork. The same is true of LOTR, SW, and HP. It is when you begin to obsess about the details that you transcend to dorkdom. The xbox360, on the other hand, is something a bunch of fratboys buy so that they can play xbox games in HD. There really isn't anything to become obsessed by, at least not yet.
And DS 9 is the best Star Trek
Listen, Frank. I will grant you that DS9 is the second best trek. But i will NEVER accept the proposition that ANYTHING is better than TNG.
First off, the captains:
TNG: You know that my hatred for the french runs deep, but even i love Jean-Luc Picard.
DS9: Ben Sisko was okay, but nothing special.
The premise:
TNG: "Boldy go where no man has gone before!"
DS9: "Sit around and wait for shit to happen - and try to get laid."
The villains:
TNG: The Borg, Locutus of Borg, the Romulans, Q, Lore - awesome all around!
DS9: The Dominion (cool, but not scary on a gutteral level), the Changelings (softies - they just want Odo back), the Cardasians (Gul Dukat can suck my balls).
The rest of the crew:
TNG: Data, Riker, LaForge, Troy, Crusher, Worf - all fucking awesome.
DS9: Kira (bit of a chip on her shoulder), Dax (very vanilla), Bashir (gay), O'brien (stolen from TNG), Worf (stolen from TNG), Odo (whiny bastard), Quark (named "Quark").
In every category, TNG wins.
Would anyone else like to comment? And, seriously, if anyone advocates for Voyager, i'll kill 'em. I mean, TOS is one thing. But Voyager?
DS9 is the better Star Trek. Period. The fact that there was a giant story arc and that the characters evolved much more than any other Star Trek, plus the great Ferenghi influence, which I actually think may be some of my favorite parts of Star Trek, ever. Also, the Borg are just too one sided an enemy. The Founders were a much more complex group, as were there minions. And also, there was just a whole lot more Klingon on Klingon action in DS9. Rock the 9, to the nines!!!!
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Whoa.
While i agree that TNG is way better than TOS, i will not abide any Shatner bashing. Shatner was, simply put, awesome. One of the finest actors of the 23rd century.
Where does knowledge of the Elvish languages fit on this list?
That depends - is it Sindarin or Telerin?