Red Pill/Bue Pill
I rarely dream. Or, at the very least, I rarely remember dreaming. I almost never wake up in the morning or the middle of the night and think "Whoa, what an awesome dream!" And, when I do dream, it's either awesome or really scary. And the mood of the dream will be opposite of what's going on in my real life. So, let's say that I'm dreading doing something the next day, or I'm really sad for whatever reason. In that case, I'd have a dream where I get everything I've ever wanted out of life. Then I wake up and I have to face the world, and it seems that much more shitty because I just had to give up this awesome dream life. Or if something awesome's going on my life, I'll dream about everyone I love dying. Before last night, my most fucked up dream involved me being in a car that was getting shot at by a guy on the street and getting shot in the head, and thinking over and over again "well, that's it, I'm going to die. Wow." And then everything in the dream went dark. And then I woke up. That was some fucking scary shit. In general, though, I don't dream very much.
That's why last night was extraordinary. I had at least four dreams that I can remember. The first one was one of those dream-inside-a-dream dreams. It was fucked up because it was combined with one of those oh-shit-I-can't-fucking-move states. I can't really remember much about that one. Another one was about me, Katherine, Ryan, Cole and Chris playing Magic: The Gathering at my old high school. That one was really strange and sort of nostolgic. The third was about being woken up from a dream (possibly the M:TG one) by a knocking on my door. When I went to the door, there were two government officials outside, demanding to get in and inspect my apartment because neighbors had complained about how messy it was. There were also two of my neighbors out there, demanding to get in. I was also on the phone with Katherine while this was all going on.
But it was my last dream of the night that was not only the most fucked up of last night, but also the most fucked up one I've ever had. Here's how it went:
I wake up in my bed, but I can't move or talk. At first, this is scary in and of itself. Really fucking scary. Then, I hear that people are trying to get into my apartment. So I start freaking out, totally trying to scream or get up, but being completely unable to. Now, my eyes are closed this whole time, so I can't even see anything. But you know how when your eyes are closed, you can still tell if there's a change in light levels? Well, even though my eyes were closed (and I couldn't open them), I saw that there was an increase in light level and then a decrease. I knew this could only mean one thing: whoever was trying to get into my apartment had succeeded. I was freaking the fuck out, I still couldn't move or scream for help. Finally, the light decreased again, and I knew it meant that they were in my room. I'm fucking crazy with fear. I can feel that they're getting closer and closer. Finally, through sheer willpower, I manage to be able to get my arm to move, but I still can't open my eyes. So I move my arm and hand and force my eyelid open to see . . .
That I was dreaming about people breaking into my apartment, and it was actually just my mom and grandma. I'm feeling all loved and whatnot, but that lasts literally about half a second because . . .
I woke up again. And I thought "whoa, that was a fucked up dream. I'm going to want to blog about that later, so I'd better write it down so I'll remember it." So I walked out of my bedroom and into the area where my poker table is and started writing on one of the many whiteboards on the walls. Just as I was trying to figure out exactly how to express what had happened in my dream . . .
I realized that I was still in bed with Smash purring next to me. There were four fucking levels of dream. Insane.
So now I'm walking around wondering when I'll wake up again.
That's why last night was extraordinary. I had at least four dreams that I can remember. The first one was one of those dream-inside-a-dream dreams. It was fucked up because it was combined with one of those oh-shit-I-can't-fucking-move states. I can't really remember much about that one. Another one was about me, Katherine, Ryan, Cole and Chris playing Magic: The Gathering at my old high school. That one was really strange and sort of nostolgic. The third was about being woken up from a dream (possibly the M:TG one) by a knocking on my door. When I went to the door, there were two government officials outside, demanding to get in and inspect my apartment because neighbors had complained about how messy it was. There were also two of my neighbors out there, demanding to get in. I was also on the phone with Katherine while this was all going on.
But it was my last dream of the night that was not only the most fucked up of last night, but also the most fucked up one I've ever had. Here's how it went:
I wake up in my bed, but I can't move or talk. At first, this is scary in and of itself. Really fucking scary. Then, I hear that people are trying to get into my apartment. So I start freaking out, totally trying to scream or get up, but being completely unable to. Now, my eyes are closed this whole time, so I can't even see anything. But you know how when your eyes are closed, you can still tell if there's a change in light levels? Well, even though my eyes were closed (and I couldn't open them), I saw that there was an increase in light level and then a decrease. I knew this could only mean one thing: whoever was trying to get into my apartment had succeeded. I was freaking the fuck out, I still couldn't move or scream for help. Finally, the light decreased again, and I knew it meant that they were in my room. I'm fucking crazy with fear. I can feel that they're getting closer and closer. Finally, through sheer willpower, I manage to be able to get my arm to move, but I still can't open my eyes. So I move my arm and hand and force my eyelid open to see . . .
That I was dreaming about people breaking into my apartment, and it was actually just my mom and grandma. I'm feeling all loved and whatnot, but that lasts literally about half a second because . . .
I woke up again. And I thought "whoa, that was a fucked up dream. I'm going to want to blog about that later, so I'd better write it down so I'll remember it." So I walked out of my bedroom and into the area where my poker table is and started writing on one of the many whiteboards on the walls. Just as I was trying to figure out exactly how to express what had happened in my dream . . .
I realized that I was still in bed with Smash purring next to me. There were four fucking levels of dream. Insane.
So now I'm walking around wondering when I'll wake up again.
To keep the eerieness alive, I direct your attention to this story:
http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/breaking_news/14629106.htm
Seems you need to be registered to access that page. Here's another try:
http://www.foxreno.com/news/9249262/detail.html
Just when I thought the story of my nominal doppelganger couldn't get any fucking stranger.
Ah. The ultimate metaphysical question of existence. Of course, when you get down to that level of skepticism, then you are trapped, forever, at solopsism. All you can say is cogito ergo sum: I think, therefore I am.
So, Nidhi, if you think, you must be, even if you don't know anything more about yourself than that you are a thinking thing. Of course, I have no idea whether you're thinking, so I have no idea whether you are. But, I'll assume you are. I'll be really pissed if you end up being a figment of my imagination, though.
maybe we're all just a big cancer tumor growing on the ass of some weird animal and our dreams are some weird effect of the drug they're taking.
yeah ok
Honestly, Magic the Gathering? Couldn't it have been something more badass, like fighting tigers at your old school and acquiring mounds of babes and gold?
I saw this movie called eXistenz once that sounds a lot like that. It started out with people unveiling this new video game, some sort of virtual reality type thing. Then about halfway through you find out everything that had happened was just part of the game. Then something else happens, and you realize THAT was part of the game. And it keeps going like that, until the end when someone is about to kill someone, and the victim asks them "Are we still in the game?" It's not a good movie by any means, but equally fucked up.
So, this morning I woke up at 5, which happens sometimes when I have had a couple beers at the Terrace (don't ask, I guess I'm just getting old). And I thought, I still have time to go back to sleep and have one more badass dream before I get up and go to work. So I did...
But I dreamed that I was trying to go to work. I was in my apartment, which looked suspiciously like part of the Sears Tower, when I looked out my window and saw the great-great-great grandfather of all tornadoes. It was like 4 tornadoes, all twisting around each other and destroying buildings and flinging people around willy-nilly. And first I thought, I am probably not getting to work in this weather. And then I thought, that is ridiculous and it doesn't exist. I am clearly dreaming this. So I made myself wake up before it hit me and I died.
I sat up in my bed at my parents house and I thought, this is odd, I don't remember getting here. I better call in to work and make something up about a family emergency, because there is no way I am getting there in time. I went into our rec room to use the phone and when I looked out the window, there was a giant tornado bearing down on the house. So I grabbed my mom and my sister and we went into the laundry room to hide. While I pondered my impending death, it suddenly occurred to me that this had already happened once today and that I was probably still sleeping.
At this point, I was getting a little pissed. As much as I enjoy sleeping, I was tired of being in a state of life-or-death panic. So I woke myself up and made myself get up out of bed (in my own aparment, finally) and get ready for work. I showered, dressed, fed my cat, had a little breakfast, and walked out the door of my apartment building. At which point I noticed the 8-funnel motherfucking tornado that is about to rip the new courthouse across the street right off of the ground. I WAS STILL FUCKING SLEEPING. And really freaked out by the whole thing, which finally made me wake up (for real).
Now, I understand that at some point, I would have just naturally woken up, no matter how much I would like to sleep forever. But to know for a fact I was dreaming and not be able to wake up or have any control over my dream was really, really weird. Especially when there were cows and houses flying by and I almost died and shit.
Sweet, longest comment EVER.