Suck my Balls, State Farm

I hate Insurance Law. Hate it. I hate it and i hate you. And by "you," I mean Insurance Law.

Can Someone Tell Me What the Problem is?

Ok. So, apparently this has been causing some controversy. If you don't immediately recognize it, it's the Star-Spangled Banner in Spanish.

My biggest complaint is that it's a shitty version of the song. If i had heard this before reading that article, though, it wouldn't have even ocurred to me that people might be pissed about it. So, my question is: why the fuck are people pissed about it?

Ultimately, i think, it comes down to people being pissed that the song, the American National Anthem, is being sung in an un-American language. I think, in this way, it's offensive to some people in the same way flag burning is: you're sullying, these people argue, America by sullying the symbol.

That's eminently stupid for a few reasons:

1. The whole point of a free society is that you can sully something. In a totalitarian regime, you might not be allowed to openly question the government. You might not even be allowed to damage or destroy a symbol of the government. Here in America, however, we have the First Amendment, we have freedom. People are right in asserting that the Star-Spangled Banner is a symbol. And what does it symbolize other than the ideals that America was founded on? Chief amongst those ideals, of course, is freedom. Destroying the symbol destroys the symbol but, ironically, it is also a reflection of the strength and meaning of what is being symbolized. Removing the freedom to destroy the symbol preserves the symbol, but at the expense of what is being symbolized, which does much greater damage to the whole thing. Such are the consequences of living in a free society: people can do things you might not like, like redo the Star-Spangled Banner or be hippies.
2. There are a lot of people (myself included) who both are American and speak Spanish. Those of you who know me know that i think the concept of diversity is inherently racist, but that's not what i'm talking about. I'm thinking, actually, of a commercial that was on TV some time after the September 11th attacks. It featured all different sorts of people saying the phrase "I am an American." I thought it was a great commercial. Anyway, America's always had a reputation as a melting pot, so what's the big deal if a cultural or linguistic group (and, in this case, one of the biggest minority groups in the country) adapts the National Anthem to their language?
3. "A rose by any other name . . . " The song might be in Spanish, but they're still singing about our flag and our country ("our" here includes the singers: speaking Spanish doesn't dimish their standing as Americans). This is related to the last point: the singers of the song didn't appropriate the melody and then change the words to refer to Mexico or Puerto Rico. Instead, they simply translated a song that talks reverently about America and our flag into a different language. Here are the lyrics:
   

   Amanece, lo veis?, a la luz de la aurora?
   lo que tanto aclamamos la noche caer?
   sus estrellas sus franjas
   flotaban ayer en el fiero combate
   en señal de victoria,
   fulgor de lucha, al paso de la libertada.
   Por la noche decían:
   "Se va defendiendo!"
   Oh decid! Despliega aún
   Voz a su hermosura estrellada,
   sobre tierra de libres,
   la bandera sagrada?
   Sus estrellas, sus franjas,
   la libertad, somos iguales.
   Somos hermanos, en nuestro himno.
   En el fiero combate en señal de victoria,
   Fulgor de lucha, al paso de la libertada.
   Mi gente sigue luchando.
   Ya es tiempo de romper las cadenas.
   Por la noche decían: "!Se va defendiendo!"
   Oh decid! Despliega aún su hermosura estrellada sobre
   tierra de libres, la bandera sagrada?
   

   
   The final lines, translated back to English (shades of superkaratemonkeydeathcar here) say: "Does it still display it's starry beauty over the land of the free, the sacred flag?" Have we become so racist or Ameri-centric that we refuse to allow people to sing the praises of our country in a language other than English? It's a sad state of affairs indeed if that's where we sit.
4. The Star-Spangled Banner's been fucked with before. I'm more troubled by allowing Rosanne to sing it than i am by it's being sung in Spanish. And let's not forget that Jimi Hendix's version was controversial in it's time, too. Both of those versions, and a few others, are discussed at the webpage Star-Mangled Banner.

So, anyway, i don't see any reason for reasonable people to be pissed at "Nuestro Himno" (that's what the Spanish version is called, by the way, and it means "Our Anthem"). But, then, i should know by now that not everyone's reasonable . . .

Spoliation of Evidence

I FUCKING LOST MY EVIDENCE BOOK!

How the fuck did this happen? I had it last night at midnight here in the library. Katherine was with me. As we were leaving, i saw a planner and CivProII text book that someone had left on the table. I picked it up, and saw that the person had put their name on it. So i carried it with me. That must have been it. I remember carrying the planner and CivPro text, but not my evidence text. Then, i remember putting the planner in the other person's hangfile and going to the WLR office. And i specifically remember not carrying anything other than my bag, which, i recently discovered, does not have my Evidence book in it. So i must have left it on the table or something last night. But no one's turned it into the front desk. And no one's turned it into Robarts.

So where the fuck is my Evidence book?

This severely fucks me because Evidence is the only class i'm taking for actual numerical credit - it's the only class that counts towards my GPA this semester. FUCK!

Also, you cannot be both bald and a punk. If you are bald and you dress like a punk, we have other words for you. For example: "loser," "failure," "bum," "waste of oxygen." If, by the time you're old enough to be going bald, you don't realize that it's unacceptable for a 35-year-old man to have nothing better to do at 2pm on a weekday afternoon than walk his dog down State Street while wearing pants with way too many random zippers, a gauntlet with spikes, a Ramones t-shirt and a dog collar (on your neck, not the dog's), you should be shot.

And one other thing: I have a job interview on Monday. I'm sure i'll fuck it up, though, so please, don't get your hopes up.

UPDATE:
Katherine both ruined and saved my day. Somehow, in the mish-mash of getting our stuff together and my being distracted by the lost planner, Katherine (either on purpose or by accident, i'm not sure) put my Evidence book in her bag. So, the book has been found. Thank god, too. I was starting to become very paranoid: i thought the book was in a fairly obvious place, but no one had turned it in. This lead me to believe that someone had found it, but kept it for their own nafarious purposes. Thank god that what actually happened is that i'm an idiot - i was starting to lose my faith in humanity. Or, what remains of it, at least.

Dorks

Alright. The time has come for me to fucking comment on something.

I absolutely hate it when people who are absolutely not dorks claim to be dorks in an attempt to be cool.

Listen to me: if you're super-popular and very socially adept, great. But don't fucking tell me that you're a dork because you read Harry Potter.

Look, unless you can do the following things from memory, you are not a dork. Just so you guys know, i didn't look any of this shit up:

Lord of the Rings

1. Give at least one additional name for Gandalf.
2. Name both of the villains in the Lord of the Rings universe known as "The Dark Lord"
3. How many Rings of Power were there, and how many did each race receive?
   

Star Wars

1. What color was Luke's lightsaber in each of the original movies (I'm not talking about the DVD editions, here)?
2. Who was the one non-major character to appear in each of the original movies and not die?
3. Name the leader of the rebel alliance.

UPDATE: As was pointed out in the comments, this quiz is seriously flawed because i somehow omitted Star Trek but included Harry Potter. To rectify the situation, i've added three Star Treck questions. The test still consists of fifteen questions, however: just count whichever category (Harry Potter or Star Trek) that you were able to answer the most from.

Star Trek

1. What is the registry number of the starship Enterprise?
2. Who was the voice of the computer on Star Trek: The Next Generation?
3. Who was the first human to discover the warp engine?

Harry Potter

1. How many horcruxes are there?
2. Name all three unforgivable curses.
3. Why didn't the Basilisk kill Colin Creevey?

DOS

1. What does "CD" stand for?
2. What does "DOS" stand for?
3. What are the two ways to display a directory, and what's the command for each?

Dork Activities

1. What does "THAC0" stand for?
2. What are the five different colors of Magic: The Gathering?
3. Describe a 4-sided die.

Alright. There's 15 questions. Unless you can answer atleast 10, you have no right to call yourself a dork.

I'm not saying being a dork is a good thing, i'm saying fuck you for usurping my dorkhood.

The answers are in the comments.

Fuck Studying

Right now i would rather do anything, literally anything, other than studying (and by "literally," i mean "figuratively). In the past two days i have checked each of your blogs literally 20 times (and by "literally," i mean "literally"). I've even added new blogs to my blogroll.

I'm on a mission to seek out and find every UW law school blog out there. I've got a few. For example, i know for a fact that Joint Tortfeasors is a UW blog. So is Tortcaesar. The writer(s) of Tortcaesar are quite funny. I like that one, but they don't update often enough. Joint Tortfeasors looks like it just got started, but i think it could be good. There's also Negligent Use of a Dangerous Mind.

There are a lot of blogs who maintain their anonymity so well that i don't even know if they are UW law students. I think that Masters at the Art of Time Suckage is a UW blog, but i could be wrong. The most i have to go on is the blogs that person links to. Some of them are UW, but some are not. Strange.

That brings to mind another thing i can write about to waste time: I consider myself, Ryan, Cole, and a few others to be part of an awesome little blogosphere of our own. We all interlink our blogs and frequently comment on each other's. I've noticed that some of the new blogs i've found are very similar. So, by linking to and commenting on one of those blogs, am i intruding into someone's own personal blogosphere? I hope i'm welcome.

Anyway, if you guys find more UW law blogs, let me know . . . . Otherwise, i'd have to start studying.

YES!

My wildest dreams have come true: i've been quoted on Overheard in Law School!!! I'm under the heading "ethical emissions."

I'd like to thank Huberbach for her unyielding support.

I fucking ROCK!

New Poll!

Ok, so, the results from the previous poll are in. And by that i mean that i was bored, didn't want to study, and couldn't think of anything else to do. So, the results from the previous poll:

Peoples' favorite weather phenomenon is . . . a TIE between lightning and frogs, each with 24.14% of the votes. A close second was rain with 20.69% of the votes. Third was the sky before a tornado, with 17.24%. Finally, with 3.45% each, snow, thunder, hail and fog.

The new poll is the best one yet, if i say so myself. Please let your voice be heard.

Help Someone Out

From a friend:
"My friend is a grad student and as part of her thesis she is developing a tool to evaluate and treat victims of sexual assault and develop educational programs to prevent sexually coercive behavior. But first, she needs data on the prevalence of sexual coercion. So she needs (lots and lots of) people to take this survey. I think her project is awesome, so I am coercing people into taking it."

So, if you're willing to take the survey, go here.

I Don't Even Know What to Call This

So, Nidhi sent me to this, apparently sent to her by another law student.

That's right: someone claimed that 42 midgets could beat a lion in a fight. The 42 midgets were willing to fight the lion. More than half of them died - which is entirely predicatable. And, perhaps worst of all, the fucking Cambodian government allowed this, as long as they got half the money.

What the fuck is wrong with the world?

I honestly have no idea how to react.

UPDATE:
From the comments. Apparently, the whole thing was fake. That's awesome, as far as i'm concerned, because now it's ok to make fun of the idea of 42 midgets fighting a lion. Additionally, i feel like a jackass for believeing such an unbelievable story. That says something about something, but i don't know what.

Yay! I'm in One of the Shitty Houses

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

Apparently, i don't have what it takes to be a hero of any sort - super or otherwise. The most prominent Hufflepuff was Cedric Diggory, and we all know what happened to him. Moreover, their house ghost is the Fat Friar. The Fat motherfuckin' Friar.

Blah.

Drum Circles

I feel i must relay this story.

The other day, after sitting in the WLR office for who the hell knows how long, EIC, Benji the Hunted, Purple Hays and i decided to get some food. After much thought and consideration, we decided to go to Amy's Cafe. On our way there, our ears were accosted by the sounds of multiple drums. Here's the thing. Drums can be insruments. But the problem with drums is that they're a rhythm thing. Music consists of more than rhythm; you need at least melody and, hopefully, harmony also. For something to count as an instrument, it must be able to make music. Drums cannot make music on their own. So, for drums to be instruments, the following condition must be met: they must be combined with something that can provide melody, like a guitar or a trumpet (timpany, for example, is definitely an instrument).

It follows from this that you cannot make a drum an instrument simply by adding another drum. Or a third drum. Or 40,457 drums. No matter how many drums you're beating on, you're not making music.

So, anyway, on our way to Amy's Cafe, we heard this drum circle. And i commented on how 3 drums is not music, and these assholes should keep their drumming to themselves. Then, some jackass walking ahead of us turns around and says something like "actually, it is music." I thought the guy's face resembled Vin Diesel, but apparently no one agreed with me. Anyway, the point is, i told the guy to go fuck himself.

Yesterday, i was walking around some more and heard yet another drum circle (actually only a drum line - there were only two drummers). And it occured to me that in such a hippie-friendly environment as Madison, drum cirles are probably just one of the things that signals the arrival of spring. It's ok, though: listening to white kids with no rhythm beat on drums appropriated from some other culture is a low price to pay for all the beautiful women running around.

I'm Fucked. Fucked Fucketty Fucked Fucked Fucked.

I'm in Professional Responsibilities right now. Apparently, we had to do some presentation things today. I say "apparently" because i was completely unaware that this was required of me today. Or, rather, was completely unaware of what i was expected to present. I met with the group i was supposed to do this thing with just before class. They all had these very well thought-out responses and explanations. I volunteered to relay the facts, because it involved no thought, consideration, or analysis. Basically, it was the position that required only reading. As fucked as i am, i can still read.

So, i just did my schpiel on the facts. It went well, and then i deftly deflected some question about the actual law to one of my teammates. That was great. Basically, i let the group down.

This is the second day in a row that i've let down a group of people. For Evidence, i was assigned, with two other people, to do a "write up" of a court examination. We met yesterday at 11. We were supposed to have something we could go over. I had done nothing, and was actually wrong about which witnesses i was supposed to work on. Good thing i found that out. Then, i promised that i would email my contribution to them by 5. Guess what time i actually sent the email. If you guessed "right around midnight," then you're right on the money.

So, if you're reading this and i've recently let you down hard core, i apologize. If you're reading this and i've recently been in a bad mood, i apologize. If you're reading this and i recently barely acknowledged your presence even though you were under the impression that we're good friends, i apologize. If you're reading this and i was generally an asshole (more than normal, anyway), i apologize.

Oh. And i'm going to fail all my classes.

Because Who Needs to Sleep?

1. Time of starting? 2:13am
2. Were you named after anyone? My first name comes from no where as far as i know. My middle name, Ismael, is in honor of my uncle, my mom's brother, who died before i was born. He was named after his grandfather.
3. Do you wish on stars? No. I don't really wish on anything.
4. When did you last cry? Honestly, i got teary-eyed today, but i didn't all-out cry. I can't remember the last time i all-out wept, but it was probably September 13th, 2001.
5. Do you like your handwriting? Yes, especially my "a" and my "f"
6. What is your favorite meat? Beef, in steak form, preferably prime rib or filet mignon.
7. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf? Nickelback. I've also owned a Staind cd.
8. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? I'd like to think so. Depends on what kind of first impression i made on myself.
9. Are you a daredevil? Sometimes.
10. Have U ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Yeah, I have. Frank and PJ would be happy to tell you all about that.
11. How do you release anger? Screaming, cursing, and screaming curse words.
12. Where is your second home? I don't have one, really. I guess L.A., but that implies that i like L.A., which i don't.
13. Do you trust others easily? Yes. Too easily. I take everyone at face value.
14. What was your favorite toy as a child? Legos.
15. What class in school do you think is totally useless? Professional Motherfuckin' Responsibilities.
16. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I am the lord of sarcasm.
17. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Yes. The hardest-core one of which was at a White Stripes concert. I almost passed out.
18. What do you look for in a guy/girl? Intelligence, wittiness, sense of humor, someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously. Also, boobs.
19. Would you bungee jump? Probably not.
20. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? I try not to.
21. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Vanilla.
22. What are your favorite colors? Black, red.
23. What is your least favorite thing? Douchebags
24. How many PPl do U have a crush on right now? A few.
25. What do you miss most right now? Sleep. Free time. My friends.
26. What color is your computer chair? Black.
27. What are you listening to right now? The sound of my computer fan.
28. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Black. Maybe maroon.
29. What is the weather like right now? Pretty cool. It's cool, but not cold, and it's clear out.
30. Last person you talked to on the phone? Katherine.
31. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Dependso n the context. If i just see someone walking down the street, then their body: legs, breasts, face. If i meet someone in a social setting, then their sense of humor, how seriously they take themselves, The sorts of things that they reference, how easy they are to talk to, etc.
32. Do you like the person who sent you this? Yes.
33. How are you today? Tired.
34. Favorite drink? Since I know the next question is alcohol specific, i'll say "water."
35. Favorite alcoholic drink? Grey Goose on the rocks, Spotted Cow.
36. Natural hair color? Black.
37. Eye color? Brown.
38. Wear contacts? I own some, but i don't wear them very often.
39. Siblings? None.
40. Favorite months? August (my birthday), December (Christmas and snow). Also, i ususally see my family in those months.
41. Favorite food? Pizza, sushi, pad thai, pasta.
42. Last movie you watched? V for Vendetta
43. Favorite day of the year? Christmas. I love being around my family and exchanging gifts with everyone.
44. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out? Yes, i suppose.
45. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy Endings. Scary movies generally suck.
46. Summer or winter? Winter.
47. Hugs or kisses? Hugs.
48. Do you want your friends to write back? They already have. I'm the slacker here.
49. Who is most likely to respond? See above.
50. Who is least likely to respond? See above.
51. What book/magazine are you reading? Books? Reading? That would imply studying.
52. What's on your mouse pad? I don't have a mousepad. They're stupid, especially in the age of optical mice.
53. What did you watch on TV last night? Don't have cable.
54. Favorite Smell? Hmmm... Food.
55. Favorite Sound? Guitars, thunder, the sound rain makes while you're sitting in the grand reading room of the lawbrary.
56. Do you regret ever breaking up with someone? Never done it.
57. Favorite actor/actress? Kevin Spacey, Scarlet Johanson.
58. Time of completion: 2:30am.

Karma

So, the Bluebooking session is in just slightly more than 3 hours. I'm not nervous, but i think it'll be interesting to see how it plays out. I've been running around all day trying to get everything set for it, and i think that we're finally ready to do this thing - and do it well. I anticipate little or no heckling, unless there are plants, of which rumors persist.

When am i going to study for finals? Who the fuck knows.

Update:
I just realized that, at about 2 hours, this is going to be the longest presentation i've ever done. Whoa.

Second Update:
The Bluebooking session is done. I thought it went very well. I don't know if the 1Ls thought it was helpful, but i think we answered all of their questions well and the powerpoint presentation went off without a hitch. I've gotta admit, there's a mild sense of accomplishment. Still, i was disappointed that there wasn't any heckling.

What You See is What You Get?

I am me. At all times. When you meet me, when you're hanging out with me, when we're talking, when we're at dinner, when i'm at school, in the office, at a bar. I am me. I have no idea how to be anyone or anything else. I am honest. Or i try to be. At times, i hate the fact that i don't have the courage to be more honest. When i express an opinion, it is my opinion. When i tell you something, it's because i mean it. I put myself out there, and it's up to you to decide what you think. And that's the way it should be.

I've been told that i don't censor myself, and that's true to a large degree. However, i recognize that there are times and situations when "fuck" is not the most appropriate word. I know that i have to work on my ability to block out the curse words or make inappropriate jokes.

However, i will not apologize for wanting to make the jokes. I will not apologize for being off-color in a social setting with friends. I will not apologize for speaking my mind. I will not apologize for saying things that should not be offensive. Anything, anything, can be funny in the right context, and if you don't understand that, you're an idiot and an asshole. I'm not saying that there aren't things in the world that are horribly offensive (even I, for example, hate certain words, for example the "n" word or certain profain words for the female genatalia), but it's stupid to judge someone on what they're saying without understanding the context. I can't control how other people react to anything, but i refuse to walk on eggshells. If you're so closed-minded, so judgmental, so self-righteous, so self-absorbed that you think you are the ultimate decider of what is appropriate and what is not, you can go straight to hell.

And for the love of god, people, be fucking honest!!! With someone. Anyone. Everyone. Maybe i'm naive. In fact, i'm sure i am. But things would be so much better if we were honest with each other. We all have so much in common. We go to school or work or wherever, and we go home, and we hang out. We all wish we were skinnier, prettier, smarter, wittier, more successful. We all want to be better. We all laugh and cry and get hungry and go to the bathroom. But we don't want anyone to know that. Or something. I don't know. Why can't we be honest with each other? Why can't we talk to each other about the fact that sometimes we're lonely or sad? Or happy? Or in love? Why do we have to hide everything?

Everyone takes everything so seriously. So personally. Is it ego? I don't know.

Sorry about the rant. If you've come this far, thank you for reading.

Final words:
Be yourselves and be honest.

The Great Toll of Increased Responsibility

I just got home. It's 2:30am. This is the third day in a row, and fourth out of five days, that i've gotten home this late. Where have i been? Perhaps partying? Having a great time? Drinking? No. I have been at the offices of the Wisconsin Law Review. Why? Because i'm a moron. Well, i guess not a moron, just the Senior Managing Editor. Now, i love my job, as i commented yesterday. It's just taking a huge amount of my time right now. I give this time willingly because, honestly, i'd rather be spending time in that office with the cool people there working on being managing editor on an interesting article than studying. Still, that time comes at a price. Here are the bad things that have happened since i was elected:

1. I've gained weight. I haven't confirmed this with any actual objective measure, but i think i have. I think i must have given my diet in the past few days (mostly pizza and pepsi) and the fact that i've literally done no exercise.
2. My apartment has gone from dirty to disgusting to almost unlivable. I've used the joke before, but i really think it's appropriate: If child protective services came to my apartment right now, they'd take my kid away (assuming i had a kid). I literally walked in today and was shocked at the smell. I need to do dishes and find some way of getting fresh air in here that Smash won't turn into a method of escape. Also, poker's supposed to take place Friday, and there's no way i'm going to let people in here. Damn.
3. I've gotten even further behind in my classes. I didn't think that was possible, but here i am.
4. I haven't made any substantial appearance at the Remington Center all week.
5. I haven't seen my friends in... a long time.
6. I keep getting phone calls, but not returning them.
7. I haven't done laundry.

Still, the experience has been awesome. We had our general info session with the 1Ls today, and i think it went well. It was the first thing we've done together as the Senior Board. I think that the 8 of us (Editor-in-Chief, Senior Managing Editors, Senior Articles Editor, Symposium Editors, Senior Note and Comment Editor and Senior Administrative Editor) will work really well together. I just think we need to increase our communication and present more of a "united front." Still, i think that's something that will come with time.

The next big public thing i have to do is the Bluebooking session with David (the other SME) and the 1Ls. For me, this is sort of a huge deal. Allow me to explain.

Imagine, if you will, a time approximately one year ago. Andy is a young, naive, cocky yet talented 1L. He's sure that he won't make it onto Law Review, but he still goes to the meetings, just to get an idea of what's going on. He attends the Bluebooking session, hosted by newly elected SMEs Chance and Dan. But something is afoot. Chance and Dan are spouting off rules, but those rules don't seem to corespond to what they're saying or writing or referencing. Strange, thinks 1L Andy. The session gets a little more... confused. People from the audience start asking questions and making corrections. Then, it happened. 1L Andy raises his hand. Chance calls on him. And 1L Andy says, in his most condescending, sarcastic tone: "Are you guys on Law Review right now?" 1L Andy's comment gets a laugh. Encouraged, 1L Andy goes completely apeshit and starts pointing out, in the most obnoxious way possible, every mistake that Chance and Dan make. Finally, mercifully, the thing ends. Rumors swirl: the 3Ls hate 1L Andy. Hate him.

The first thing i did at the Law Review orientation session was walk up to Chance and apologize. Being an awesome dude, Chance accepted and made it clear that it was all water under the bridge. Then, at the Essen Haus, 1L Andy proceeded to make an ass of himself in front of Chance yet again.

In any event, i think i've made peace with everyone on Law Review for the incident. Still, no one has missed the irony that i will now be in the exact same position Chance was in. I want this fucking Bluebooking session to go perfectly. But it won't. I've heard rumors of planted hecklers. It'll be interesting.

Man, this post ended up being long. Anyway, good night and good luck.

Another Rejection

"Dear Andrew:
Thank you for interviewing for the summer law clerk position at our firm. It was a pleasure meeting you. Unfortunately, we have decided to fill the position with another candidate. Best of luck in your future endeavors."

And so ends my dream of working at a firm this summer. Fuck. I guess I knew it was a shitty interview as soon as it was over but still. I guess being Senior Managing Editor doens't pull a lot of weight.

No big deal, i guess. If i do the Consumer Law Litigation Clinic, i'll only have 19 credits to take next year, total. That should make for a pretty easy year, not counting Law Review which, it is now apparent, will take my entire soul.

Still, i like the people and the work. Just wish i had a job.

I'm A Woman?

So, i went to the page that Katherine linked to, and entered this picture of me:

It turns out that the celebrity i most resemble (71%) is Anna Lindh. Who the fuck is that?, you're wondering. No idea, but here's a picture:

Still don't know who that is? Me either. Clearly, the fucking thing was fooled by my glasses. It had to have been the glasses because check out the next few celebrities:

Hrithik Roshan (68%)

Sir Elton John (63%)

Hell, even Erica Durance, the super-hot Lois Lane from Smallville showed up (55%) because of the glasses.

Moral of the story? My most distinctive facial feature is something i can remove. Is that good or bad?

Shoutout to F.X.V.

Courtesy of his Frank-ness, a little bitta titty.

I Wasn't Ready For the Midget

I just watched all 12 chapters of Trapped in the Closet. I don't even have anything to say. It was so bad. Something's wrong with out society. That's all i have to offer.

My god.

UPDATE:
As if the Trapped in the Closet train wreck wasn't bad enough on its own, the CliffNotes versions (chapters 1-5, 6-12) add to the hilarity substantially. Especially look at the glossaries and the essay questions.

I Guess I Still Have Further to go to Achieve My Life-Long Goal of Being Superman

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

I was jealous that Katherine found this first, and i'm pissed i wasn't Superman. Still, i'll take Spider-Man. After all, as far as i'm concerned, he still has the best superhero movie of all time. Still, that could all change in June.

Spider-Man 75% Superman 70% Iron Man 70% Batman 60% Green Lantern 60% Hulk 55% Robin 50% Supergirl 43% The Flash 35% Catwoman 35% Wonder Woman 28%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Another Reason to Vote for Rain

So far on the current poll, 3 of you, or 25%, have voted for lightning as your favorite weather phenomenon. I'm the only one thus far who has voted for snow. That's probably because i'm from the desert and snow has not yet lost it's magical feeling for me.

Regardless, i just experienced a reason for why you should vote for rain. The law school, in its infinite wisdom, chose to gave the Grand Reading Room what appears to be a glorified corrugated tin roof. I was in here tonight, working on my final cite checking packet, when it apparently began to rain very hard. The library was even quieter than normal, most normal people having gone home some time ago. What happened was very cool: the rain reverberated off of the roof and filled the whole room with this awesome, echo-y rain sound. Very relaxing.

So, had "rain while in the grand reading room" been an option, i would have had to change my vote...

In any event, vote in the poll if you haven't yet - it takes even less effort than posting a comment. Rachel, i'm looking at you!

UPDATE: Two more people have voted for rain, which has now pulled ahead of lightning for favorite weather thing. Interesting . . .

I'm Extroverted, Apparently

Big Five Test Results

Extroversion (86%) very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. Accommodation (46%) medium which suggests you are moderately kind natured, trusting, and helpful while still maintaining your own interests. Orderliness (36%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, random, scattered, and fun seeking at the expense of structure, reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Emotional Stability (58%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Inquisitiveness (72%) high which suggests you are very intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.

Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Seems pretty accurate, i suppose. What do you think?

How To Tell a Certain Lawyer Joke

Here's one way to tell it:

Man, it's cold outside. In fact, it's so cold that the lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.

Here's another way to tell it:

Man, it's cold outside. In fact, it's so cold that the lawyers
have their hands in their own pockets.

See the difference? Here's the real question, though: which is the correct way to tell it? Let me know your answer in the comments.

CAUTION: answering wrong means you're probably a tool, and idiot, unfunny or all three.

Barrister's Ball, Law Review and Law Revue

First, i feel that i have to comment on the recent happenings at Legal Badger and their consequences. For those of you who don't know, Legal Badger is a blog run by several University of Wisconsin law students. It is a blog devoted to poking fun at the law school, law students, the law, pretty much everything. One of the contributors to that blog posted a semi-serious piece asking for comments on the Wisconsin Law Review's diversity policy. This lead to several comments and then several replies. The converstation became quite heated, as is likely to happen when such an important issue is being discussed.

This is all very well and good. But what is completely unacceptable is that the conversation devolved into accusations of racism and intolerance. I want this to be clear: Racism is bad, and it should be combated at every turn. However, i know several of the Legal Badger contributors that were involved personally, and can state, with 100% certainty, that they are not racists. They are good people who are interested in making sure that all groups are represented in the law school society. There is no basis in fact for any of the accusations that have been made or implied against them.

Some of the comments that were made on Legal Badger could be seen as offensive (even though i am confident that they were not intended to offend). Certainly, it is someone's right to be offended and to respond to the offensive thing as they see fit. But i feel it is necessary that i go on the record in defense of any of the people whose reputations might be questioned.

In any event, please support Legal Badger; they make law school fun. Or, well, as fun as it can be.

In other news . . .

Last night was the Barrister's Ball, which is essentially law school prom, which should not be confused with law school homecoming, the Malpractice Bash. The two can be easily differentiated because the Malpractice Bash involves med students. A med student is readily identifiable: just look for a forked tounge, hooved feet and pitchforks. You can almost smell the evil.

But i digress...

The Barrister's Ball was fun, and i will post pictures soon. The fun was tempered, however, by the knowledge that elections for the Wisconsin Law Review senior board started promptly at 9am Sunday morning (i know that they technically started at 10am, but daylight savings time is an abomination before god and it robbed me of an hour last night). I was out until 3 (again, i'm ignoring the time change). You do the math.

I got up in the morning and i was tired. I showered and put on my suit and went down to the school. I was running for two positions: Editor-in-Chief and Senior Managing Editor.

EIC was the first position to be voted on. There were three candidates. The process was as follows: First, you give a speech. Then, you answer questions from the current holder of the office you're running for, followed by questions from the general membership. Then, you leave the room and the membership discusses you, making comments or criticisms. I was the first EIC candidate to undergo the process. The two other candidates followed, and we waited for the votes to be counted. The current EIC came in and wrote "EIC" on the board followed by the new EIC's name. I did not win, but a very talented and committed candidate did, and that's fine with me.

Senior Managing Editor was second. I came in, did my song and dance, and left. There were two other candidates. Again, the votes were counted and the current EIC came in and started writing names on the board. The first name she wrote was: Andy Martinez. I was excited and happy. The EIC then wrote the other SME's name on the board. Another excellent candidate was elected (that doesn't mean much - all the candidates were excellent).

The Senior Managing Editor's main responsibilty is overseeing the cite checking process, which is one of the most important things in the system, and the major time consumer for 2L members. That might sound lame to you, but i can't wait - i love the Bluebook.

Voting for more positions followed. Several of the races were uncontested, which, frankly, is disappointing. It makes me sad that more people weren't as enthusiastic about the Law Review as i am. I hope that that's something that this year's board can work on. The upside to the uncontested races was that elections were over very quickly, relatively speaking. They took about 7 hours, as compared to 11 hours last year.

After the Law Review elections, i headed down to Memorial Union to join the cast of the Law Revue (the show) during their rehearsals for the show that night. The Law Revue is a sketch comedy show that runs once a year and is written and produced entirely by law students. The humor would be almost entirely lost to non-law students, but we like it. Several of my friends, including Cole, Ryan and Zachar were involved in the writing and acting.

Among the skits:
A Family Fued parody pitting law students against their professors.
Zombie Rehnquist and Ann Coulter face off against Larry Church and Leonard Kaplan on Hardball.
A parody of Brokeback Mountain entitled Brokeback Hill (the law school is located on Bascom Hill) in which Walter J. Dickey and Michael W. Smith must hide their secret love of Torts in order to keep their livelihoods as professors of criminal law.
Masked vigilantes bringing justice to the law school.
And, of course, Martinez, Zachar, Ruby & McNamara squaring off against a uppity woman with the gaul to ask for a job. (The role of Andrew Martinez was played effectively by Texas Scott because we had no way of knowing how long the Law Review elections would run and i could not be counted on to be there in time.)

The show went off without a hitch (well, almost) and was generally considered the best effort in several years.

Now, it's time to bask in my own Senior Managing Editor glory. And by that, i mean sleep.

Man . . .

You know, i thought that i was sort of over September 11th. I thought that i could deal with it and stuff. But, it turns out i can't bring myself to read about the transcripts of the 911 calls that have just been released, let alone listen to the actual calls.